Strength

This evening has taken my mini study in a different direction than I normally go.

On my personal blog I purged all my thoughts on not being able to do the things I need to in the upcoming weeks. I think that overwhelming feeling carried over into today. I felt so unproductive and just staled that I felt sick for a lot of the day. I just was sad.

I couldn't let that last though because I had a presidency meeting tonight and a house that was in desperate need of cleaning. (I got my act together after lunch).

That's not where I was going with this. My thoughts on the subject come more from my presidency meeting where I revealed to the ladies who I love so much and who are so amazing, that this is such a difficult calling for me. I often feel defeat.

Also not the direction I was going. After the meeting I went to visit one my missing Miamaid advisor who had a baby last week. I've been thinking of her lots. Her children are 15 months apart. Tyler and Aaliyah are close to 20, but at the time Tyler had about a 6 months delay developmentally. In some areas more. I remember crying for like two months solid. Just sobbing morning and night. I went back to work when Aaliyah was 4 weeks old. It was all so much to try and juggle and handle.

Talking to my friend I recalled all these feelings and the feelings I had with Tyler and many, many of life's trials. I have so many times in my life not been able to see an end in sight. I've sworn that I couldn't go a day longer. That things wouldn't work out. (That's the pessimist in me).

In times like these I was hitting my knees so hard. Sometimes in this terrible accusing tone. In anger/sorrow because I figured He was wrong because I knew I couldn't do it. I'm still here, so I guess I could.

Anyway, these thoughts today gave me such strength and gratitude for the gospel and it's message. I can't think of a specific scripture that says, "He knows your limits and he won't give you more than you can handle." If you know a specific one, leave me a comment. I want it.

For know I was searching LDS.org and found a fantastic article from the Liahona by Elder L. Lionel Kendrick.

Here are some of my favorite parts from it:

“My people must be tried in all things, that they may be prepared to receive the glory that I have for them” (D&C 136:31).

“All these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good” (D&C 122:7).

“For he knoweth all things, and there is not anything save he knows it” (2 Ne. 9:20). He knows the things that we stand in need of even before we ask (see 3 Ne. 13:8).

“Fear not, little children, for you are mine, and I have overcome the world … ; and none of them that my Father hath given me shall be lost” (D&C 50:41–42). (MY FAVORITE!)

“Lift up your hearts and be glad, for I am in your midst, and am your advocate with the Father” (D&C 29:5; see also D&C 45:3; D&C 62:1; D&C 110:4). (I love this too. It's so nice to know that I have someone defending me. I can't even imagine the things that he is going to have to say to defend me.)