Exercise!

Whew. I am going to try and be better at this because it helps me remember the things that I have studied. Last night as I was fumbling to know where to study I decided to go back and look through the notes I had taken on scriptures I read. I like the LDS scriptures app. I miss reading from an actual book though. The nice thing about the app though is that it lets you see all the notes that you have taken though.
So last night I was scrolling through my notes and I came across this scripture.
Alma 32:16
...blessed are they who humble themselves without being compelled to be humble....
And I so needed this scripture. I have been struggling for the past little bit with faith, and peace and it's sort of bled over in to my scripture study. I haven't been as motivated. I still keep reading every night, but I just haven't been finding the inspiration that I need. 
And in fact, let me add a little more to that thought. I had to speak yesterday in sacrament meeting for the first time in our new ward. I don't mind public speaking, but the topic I was given was difficult for me. We were asked to talk on Personal Peace: The Reward of Righteousness, which was a talk given in the last conference by Elder Quentin L. Cook. As I mentioned I haven't had a lot of peace in the last little while, and the reason for that is because I have been lacking in faith. I trusted my Heavenly Father when I felt prompted that Neil and I were supposed to move, but the journey was terrifying for me and I lost faith that our Heavenly Father would bless us and deliver us to something better. That doubt and watching other struggle with trials started to effect my prayers. I  pray nightly, and try to be good to pause before the day starts and pray, but I found myself saying words, but not backing my prayers with any faith. So for example, I would pray that Neil would be able to make it through the multiple layoffs his work has gone through this year, but I wouldn't back it with a whole lot of faith. Because I'm certain that other people are offering up the same prayers, but are losing their jobs. And they are GOOD people. So if that was happening to them, what would spare us. I read a lot of news too, so I pray every night that my kids will be safe, but then I read the news and see that children are being seriously injured and killed and these are GOOD kids, from GOOD families. So why is this happening? So I guess to just wrap that up, I would pray for things, but not expect my prayers to be answered. It's been a rough few months because of that and I have had a lot of fear. Not faith. 
So as I was recommitting to have more faith and dig deeper I saw that scripture. And the note I had left with that highlight said, "I sure hope I fit in to this category." And I seriously do, and I don't think that people that are going through trials need humbling, but it was just the scripture I needed to say. Pray and remember that you are trying to do what is right and that even if trials arise, Heavenly Father will watch over you. 
Today  kind of marks the start of better faith for me. I dropped Aaliyah off at school today and she missed all last week and still has the remnants of a cough, but because the cough stuck around so long, she was put on antibiotics. Her being sick has been a trial for me because she's in a Spanish Immersion program and so I've been really nervous about the information and teaching she has been missing. Anyway, she loves to ride her bike, and we rode today, but left terribly late so we were hauling it. Not good for trying to recover from an illness. So we got to school after the first bell had rang and she was coughing so hard she nearly hurled. I stood there trying to decide what to do. And I sent her in to her class. FREAKING OUT!!! I didn't have my phone, so I spent the whole ride home thinking they were calling me to tell me that she needed to come home and I wasn't there. 
During that ride home I realized that I have used my faith before as a power. There was an Ensign article and challenge on that about a year ago. And it hit me that I am not exercising enough faith. It felt so refreshing to come home and hit my knees and beg my Heavenly Father to bless Aaliyah to be better at school and be able to attend this whole week and have faith that that could happen. 
I feel ready and motivated to exercise my body lose a few pounds, and also to exercise my faith and believe that my Heavenly Father will answer my prayers. Whew. I hope this motivation sticks around.